After self-reflection, I realise I shouldn't be.....
After a night of reflection, I came to a conclusion that I shouldn't wallow in self pity anymore. Stop feeding myself with the poisonous ambiguity of life. My mind has been intoxicated by bitterness of yesteryears and if I don't invigorate myself now, I'd fall into the pit of depression.
Thanks to my dog, Flinch, for showing this meaning to me. He's pulled me out from the pit. He never gives in so why should his master give up? Thanks to Marie Callas too. You are the last person who can council me now.
From now on, I will force myself not to think of the negativities of life. That will be tough because it's years of poison in my mind. But I know I can do it and be cheerful like those happy people around. When I feel cheerful, chances will open for me.